Triplets, Oh my!

I read this interesting article about triplets and how sometimes, people don't think before they ask questions. You can find that blog here: Triplets...are they IVF?

And that really got me thinking about how much I could relate to those people saying "I would jump off a bridge" at one point. So here are my thoughts on this topic, and I really want to share them with people.

After the ultrasound tech told us the news, she called my midwife to tell her what she had found. I remember getting on the phone with Colleen, fighting back the tears because I didn't want her to know I was upset. We had made jokes in the office about how we only wanted one, no twins for us! I think she probably knew I was not ready for the news that was given to me. And her words meant a lot in that brief conversation. She told "It's going to be alright, how exciting...triplets!" At the time, I just laughed a little and thought to myself 'Ha, exciting for everyone else maybe because this isn't happening to them!' but in the reality of things...I NEEDED that positive affirmation. I needed someone to tell me it would be alright.

As news spread, I was greeted with many of the things other multiple moms complain about..."Are they IVF? I feel so bad for you! Oh that is going to be miserable!"...as well as people telling me how jealous they were, how exciting it must be, the positives. I couldn't see those positive things at the time. At the time, I was glad others would be upset as well, and their confirmation in my feelings made me feel better for a minute.

But now as we sit a few weeks in, the news has sunk in, and we've seen three healthy babies...all those negative comments make me angry. The way I personally felt makes me angry. And I still make myself angry. When I say we're having triplets, I feel as if I still have to be sad about it. Because that is what everyone expects, right? Like, I can't be excited, or happy to have such a blessing. If I don't roll my eyes and say "Yeah, woohoo, triplets" in the most sarcastic tone I can muster, something must be wrong with me surely.

What I needed was people in my face, telling me how exciting our news was. And I got SO much of that. The outpouring of support was more than I ever imagined. But those negative comments still linger at times, because when people find out I am still greeted with negativity. And shame on me for letting that negativity impact how I feel about this.

I won't lie. This journey is still terrifying. Preparing for sick babies still makes me cry sometimes. Wondering when money will grow on tree's to accommodate three more babies still burdens me. But, after thought and prayer, I have quickly come to realize- none of this is in my control! I panic at times, and I get exhausted just thinking about all the work that is ahead of me. (Well okay, I am exhausted because growing three babies is hard work! But, extra exhausted!) But I have to bring myself back down to earth and remind myself that this is what God has handed us. Jason and I have stood by each other through times neither of us thought we would face. And if we could make it through truly dismal times, we can make it through an incredible miracle! Once you get past all the scary stuff, it is easy to see the excitement and joy from having THREE blessings!

And so therefore, it should be treated as such.

A simple, "How are you feeling?" would be much more appreciated than "Oh man, has it sunk in yet? I wouldn't be able to cope with that until they here." I KNOW you mean well. And so do all the other moms. But, hopefully I have been able to explain to you why the negative comments don't help.

Also, does it matter if they were IVF babies? Does it make them less? For everyone in the world who wants to know..no, we did not have IVF. Our triplets were spontaneous. That is the correct term. Not natural, because ALL children are natural. (This personally doesn't offend me, for those reading, it might offend someone else. So a little FYI, from me to you so you don't have to learn the hard way like I did.)

On my very last note....a HUGE thank you to those who have supported us. To those who have taken the time out of their day to ask how I am doing. You have no idea how much that small gesture means to me, just to know that someone is thinking about me. It's been the support of family, friends, and even complete strangers that has carried me (and us) to this point. To know that this morning sickness doesn't last forever, and the joys of bringing home your babies outweigh all the hardships. So thank you a million times over. We are so blessed.