The Important of Yourself

I'm your stereotypical "helicopter parent". My children are always in my sight. In fact, I can count on one hand how many times my children have spent the night elsewhere and I wouldn't even need the whole hand. I am so paranoid to let them go anywhere and be out of my care that I just don't do it unless it's absolutely necessary.

Well, three days ago it became necessary. My husband and I needed to head to Dallas. Okay, we didn't *need* to head to Dallas but me coming along was important. I just didn't even realize how important it was until our trip was coming to a close. 

Finding childcare for five children including triplets was agonizing. My mother in law lives 3 hours away and my kids have never stayed there without me. And most of the people in our lives have other commitments in life they can't just drop to watch our kids, with the exception of my grandmother who needed a break just as much as we did. Needless to say I was stressing out over it. Especially the triplets, because really they require the most work and with them nursing I wasn't wanting to be away from them for days. 

We ended up sending our older two to my mother in laws. They went early and the first two days were rough. All I could think is what if there was an emergency, I was 3 hours away and couldn't get to them right away. When we put my four year old in the car she cried because she wanted me to go with her. My heart broke. I felt helpless. 

Then we sent the triplets to my moms house after she took off work. From her house they would go to a friends house. While trusting both people I just wasn't ready to part with my little infants. 

How do you turn off mommy mode? How do I function as a regular adult when I've not done it for so long. My entire life is dictated by this little army I've created and I don't know anything but my daily scenario anymore. 

And then we boarded the plane. And I was anxious. I was nervous. The first night I tossed and turned and didn't sleep like I wanted to. But that first day, it was fabulous. I was able to wake up when I wanted to. I showered, brushed my teeth, put on makeup and even did my hair...one right after the other and it only took me about an hour! And the longer I was away, the more revitalized I felt. Catching up on sleep was one thing, but just resetting my entire routine was refreshing. I felt like a different person, and it was nice. 

Where am I going with this? Stop being a helicopter parent. I hate when people say "my kid didn't leave my sight until he was three, not even for an hour so I could go to the grocery store". Great! Do you want a trophy? Because all you did was torture yourself. Now...there are some moms who can say that because they had no choice. And kudos to you because it's hard!! Everyone deserves a break. Seriously hire a sitter for an hour and go grocery shopping alone. But for those of us who *choose* to never have our children leave our side. WHY?? 

Having children doesn't mean you lose yourself. And taking a breaking doesn't make you less of a mom or a bad mom. Actually it's the opposite. I needed this break. I needed me time. I cannot go back to my kids more focused and energized and be a better mom to them. 

And quite frankly I deserved a break. And so do you. Take it. 

As I sit on the plane heading back home from Dallas, typing my thoughts on this little phone screen...I realize how important I am. My needs, my wants...my life revolves around my kids. It if I don't take of myself what good am I to them? I know now that I can go home and be better. 

And man do I miss my kids. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I am so excited to go home and hear them scream and cry. Who says that? A mommy who hasn't seen her babies. I hope all you stretched thin mommies heed my advice. You deserve that pedicure. You're doing an amazing job. Reward yourself.